we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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