john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
