just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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