sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
