I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
