I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize