i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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