well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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