somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
