Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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