What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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