He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
