i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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