I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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