this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
