pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
