i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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