Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
