From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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