Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
