Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Small penises have feelings too.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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