either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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