i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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