Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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