You're completely useless in the revolution.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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