Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he just fucked me for my cheese.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
