I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
