I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize