Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
