why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
