She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
