I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She said her name was "party"
Duck Duck Cougar?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
