My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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