Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
