More tranny stories later!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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