PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
