He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize