She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
