shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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