just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
