Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
