i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
