When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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