I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
