That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
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I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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