It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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