I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wear drunk well.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize