I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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