my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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