hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
