Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
