I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
