He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
