im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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