Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
