do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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