no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
