He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
