I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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