i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
