Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
