I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
