Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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